Whose Line is it Anyway with the Marauders
by BlackFox84
Summary: This is another Whose Line is it Anyway with the Marauders but its really good. Chapter 9 is up!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own whose line is it anyway and I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
This is another one of those who's line is it anyway fanfics  
  
Remus ok get ready for whose line is it anyway where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points don't matter just like the name of the girl in a porno movie, it doesn't matter. I'm your host Remus Lupin and here are the contestants tonight and  
  
Remus: "The Chick Magnet James Potter!" Lily rolls her eyes at this and mouths "yeah right."  
  
Remus. "The im so Hollywood" Sirius Black!  
  
Sirius looks at the camera and does the "call me" gesture  
  
Remus: and the look at me im smart Lily Evans!  
  
Remus last and certainly the least, just kidding just kidding Peter Pettigrew!  
  
Remus ok ok lets get the show started with a game called "World's Worst"  
  
Remus: what they're going to do is say the worst things to say to your friends when their girlfriend or boyfriend in Lily's case has just dumped them.  
  
Sirius steps up  
  
Sirius: Don't cry your teeth aren't green they're sort of a lime color  
  
James steps up  
  
James: Don't worry that fat kid over there will take you out to an all you can eat buffet  
  
Lily steps up  
  
Lily: "see if you didn't have that extra burrito for lunch we wouldn't be in this situation."  
  
Peter steps up  
  
Peter: don't worry lets go streaking and show her that your snake is a wild thing!  
  
James Lily and Sirius start to edge away from him  
  
Remus: now we'll play scenes from a hat. this is a game were the audience has made  
  
suggestions of scenes they would like to see acted out. as he pulls out the sorting hat it  
  
says "I'd better be getting paid for this and most of these suggestions belong in  
  
Slytherin!"  
  
There will be another game next chapter please R&R please. And the next chapter will  
  
have scenes from a hat in it 


	2. Scenes from a hat and Questions only

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Whose Line is it Anyway?  
  
Remus: Ok now heres a scene Things in James' planner  
  
Sirius: oh this'll be good  
  
Sirius steps up  
  
Sirius: 7:00 count my money 8:00 think about Lily 9:00 Think about Lily 10:00 fall asleep while thinking of romantic ways to ask Lily out  
  
Lily steps up  
  
Lily: 7:00 write my life story 8:00 think about Lily 9:00 make up new lie stories to tell all the girls at school 10:00 Think about Lily 11:00 fall asleep watching porno movies  
  
James steps up  
  
James: I'll tell you guys what is really in my planner.  
  
James 7:00 think about Lily 8:00 Think about Lily 9:00 Think about Lily 10:00 watch porno movies 11:00 think about Lily 12:00 pass out on the couch thinking about Lily  
  
Peter has already fallen asleep in his chair moaning "professor McGonagal not so fast I want to enjoy this"  
  
Remus: Pulls out his wand and does the silencing charm on Peter  
  
Remus: ok now that that's taken care of we'll play a game called questions only. Where you can only ask questions and the scene is James is a police officer and Lily was speeding so take it away.  
  
James: Why were you speeding?  
  
Lily: Do you have cherry flavored condoms?  
  
James: Wanna see?  
  
Lily: Why do you want me to see?  
  
James: What's your name?  
  
Lily: Well what's your name?  
  
James: What's your business in England?  
  
Lily: I don't know  
  
Sirius: Why are you naked?  
  
James: Why do you ask?  
  
Sirius: what do you do for a living?  
  
James: I ask people stupid questions  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer and says lets do a game called song styles!  
  
Please R&R! Song styles will be in the next chapter! 


	3. Song Styles and Three headed Songwriter

Disclaimer: I don't own these things or else I wouldn't be putting them on fanfiction.net you see but I'll do it anyway for the site owners sake. I don't own Harry Potter or whose line is it anyway.  
  
Remus: The game is song styles and the subject of the song is I got a bad grade and now I want to kill somebody with James Potter  
  
James: I got a bad grade and I want to kill somebody oh I am so mad.  
I tried really hard and studied all night but when I got into the room  
I forgot everything I studied ooooooooooh. So study your heart out and don't be like  
Me cuz when you study you should get the espresso coffee! I got a bad grade and o I want to kill somebody im so mad. When I get another test I'll remember the caffeine the night before and my cheat sheet. But the real reason is the House elves forgot to give me a clean sheet!  
  
Lily mutters something that sounds like "I never knew he could sing."  
  
Remus: ok lets get another game called three headed songwriter. This is a game where James Sirius and Lily are gonna make up a song about school one word at a time.  
  
James: I  
  
Sirius: Hate  
  
Lily: School  
  
James: it  
  
Sirius: makes  
  
Lily: me  
  
James: Horny  
  
Lily gives James a weird look  
  
Sirius: School  
  
Lily: has  
  
James: lots  
  
Sirius: and  
  
Lily: lots  
  
James: of  
  
Sirius: Women  
  
Lily: lets  
  
James: finish  
  
Sirius: this  
  
Lily: game  
  
James: before  
  
Sirius: I  
  
Lily: HURL!  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer and says "well that was interesting understandable but interesting."  
  
Remus: we'll be right back and we'll do a game called Hoe Down!  
  
R&R please and I will get a good Idea for hoe down Thank you to everyone that reviewed! 


	4. Hoe Down and Foriegn Translators

Disclaimer: Stinkin people that think im trying to steal Harry potter and whose line is it anyway but just because I have to: I don't own Harry Potter or whose line is it anyway or  
  
A/N I need help on how to do the Irish drinking song. If anybody can help that would be great.  
  
Remus: Now the subject of the hoe down is what happens after your 1st divorce. And I'll participate in the game since peter is sleeping.  
  
James: That sorta sounds like Sirius only he's had five divorces.  
  
Sirius gives him a dirty look  
  
James: no im just kidding  
  
Remus now lets get the games started  
  
James: Oh I just got divorced and I really am mad. Ignoring my wife at a bar by my friends' verdict really isn't so bad. She never took her eyes off me when I was staring at that girl. But when I saw the girl's snaggletooth it made me want to hurl.  
  
Sirius: I got divorced last week and it wasn't pretty. When I came home and saw that guy on the couch I was downright giddy. She asked why I was happy I said, "finally you leave me." But when I said that she got really slaphappy.  
  
Lily: I just got divorced today and I am feeling sick. My guy was so nice and his name was Vick. I don't care now because he is such a prick. So everybody that knows him never date the guy Vick the Prick!  
  
Remus. I just got divorced yesterday and I am pretty happy. She got all mad at me because her hair was nappy. I said that don't cry we can go to the hair salon they have a section that says BAD HAIR DAY PEOPLE HERE. She just said, "you get your ass outta here!  
  
Remus walked over to the desk and buzzed the buzzer  
  
Remus: Ok lets play a game called foreign translators. This is the game where Lily and Sirius will be speaking their own made up language and me and James will be translating.  
  
Sirius: opsli og thetsre  
  
James: Are your boobs huge?  
  
Lily: letyer minam kiying  
  
Remus: Wanna see? Sirius: asen betisad kilgint  
  
James: who was the last person you had sex with?  
  
Lily hidit oppe  
  
Remus: Your mom  
  
Sirius reosaf pit dlias  
  
James: why do you only have a bra and thong on?  
  
Lily: olif delsig dopedsaer  
  
Remus: Because im a hooker  
  
Sirius: grepward polik miler?  
  
James: What are you doing tonight?  
  
Lily: heteedpap apofad  
  
Remus: nothing with you  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer and says, "well that was oddly interesting"  
  
Remus: Ok lets keep going with a game called Lets make a date.  
  
Please Review It took me like 45 minutes to make up that hoe down. thanks to everyone who reviewed and Lets make a date will be in the next chapter 


	5. Lets make a date

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter or else I would be writing the 6th book right now,  
  
A/N: Sorry for the long wait and anybody who wants to flame me about the hoe down go ahead I know it sucked. Now on with the show!  
  
Remus: Lets play a game called Let's Make a Date! Where James, Sirius and Peter (A/N: I decided to include him now.) have been given cards with personalitys on them for them to act out. With Lily searching for a date.  
  
Lily: Bachelor number one, I like adventure how would you show me what I want?  
  
Impatient check-out line guy having to re check everything flashes on the screen.  
  
Sirius: Well we could go to the back and I could show you the living..you I'm trying to check it out just wait a minute!  
  
Lily: Ok bachelor number two, I like puppies do you know any good prices on cute little doggies?  
  
Gay Sexual predator flashes on the screen  
  
James: Well the guys are a must because if your lucky they start licking your face and it Hey you wait until tonight! (Sirius is grabbing his arm and saying "Damn it why wont you scan?!)  
  
Lily: Well when you get your priorities straight call me. Now bachelor number three if you were to take me to a tropical vacation spot where would you take me?  
  
Sirius on a date flashes on the screen  
  
Peter: Well I know of a place in Hawaii where the sand is so smooth and soft and ....I wonder what im eating for lunch to tomorrow? Hey James do you know where Jennifer Ronalds is? (A/N Jk Sirius is cool I just wanted peter to sound stupid.)  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer and says well have more after our break!  
  
Please R&R I need suggestions on what to do next if you hated this chapter tell me and ill try to repost it better. 


	6. Song Titles and Party Quirks

Disclaimer: Cum on people if I owned Harry potter id be able to wallpaper my walls with five dollar bills. I also don't own ACDC or Britney spears or any song titles that are used in this chapter. A/N I know the last chapter was short but I'm running out of ideas fast I haven't been watching whose line lately so I need your help. Now on with the Show!  
  
Remus: Well let's move on with a game called Song Titles! Where James Sirius Peter (A/N I hate him I just needed to fill up space) and Lily can only speak to each other in song titles. Sirius: Hello James: Hit me baby one more time Sirius: Rock and Roll aint noise pollution James: Pull my chain. Sirius: I don't know and he walks out Lily: Superstar James: What you do for money honey Lily givin the dog a bone James says huh? And walks out Peter: I wanna talk about me Lily: Going under Peter: Bring me to life Lily: Huh? Sirius: Runaway  
  
Peter: Breaking the habit  
  
Sirius Rock your body (A/N that's the song Justin and Janet were singing at the super bowl look up the lyrics and you'll see why the song "rock your body" relates to the quote unquote "accident")  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer  
  
Remus: ok before this gets weirder lets move on to a game called Party Quirks where James is having a party and Lily Sirius and Peter are given personalities to act out at the party. And James is going try to guess their personality  
  
Ding-Dong as Lily walks in disgruntled post woman talking about her pitiful life flashes on the screen  
  
James: Well hello there thanks for coming.  
  
Lily: yeah yeah that's what they all say when you walk through the door but what they're really saying is why did you come you don't belong here!  
  
James: well you go over there and cool your heels  
  
Ding Dong as peter walks in nervous hyperactive thirteen year old looking for sugar  
  
James: Thanks for coming now go over there and talk nice with the lady she's a bit angry right now.  
  
Peter: (A/N he'll have a fast voice for the rest of the game because he's hyperactive) ok but as long as there's sugar here ill be right at home  
  
Lily: Oh yeah make me be friends with the fat kid see how much god hates me?  
  
Peter: well my mommy says that im just big boned and all the other kids are just jealous of my excessive energy.  
  
James: take some chill pills will you  
  
Ding-Dong! As Sirius walks in Pimp on his day off flashes on the screen.  
  
Sirius: Thanks for inviting me but where are the girls? We need to fire up this joint!  
  
James: well I don't know about fire but we do have the lady over there.  
  
Sirius: Come here girl!  
  
Peter: sugar sugar where's the sugar?  
  
James: The punch bowl is over there  
  
Lily: Who do you want me to punch? Because god knows I need to hit somebody right now and you get away from me as she pushes Sirius away Remus buzzes the buzzer  
  
Well have more after these messages  
  
Please R&R if you have any suggestions on the next game I should play please tell me because as I said before I'm running out of ideas! 


	7. Newsflah and Hats

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter and I don't own whose line is it anyway.  
  
A/N Thank you to everyone who reviewed and thank you all for your suggestions! And I know I didn't finish the party quirks right and if you guys and girls want me to repost it then I'll change it.  
  
Remus: I have very shocking and relieving news for you all.  
  
James Lily and Sirius: What?  
  
Remus: During the break peter (A/N The Betrayer!) drank so much Spanish wine he got alcohol poisoning. obviously he didn't know the points didn't matter.  
  
Lily James and Sirius: So who's gonna replace him?  
  
Remus: Drum roll please.  
  
Remus: Severus Snape!  
  
James and Sirius rub their hands mischievously and Lily has a look of relief on her face because peter was freaking her out  
  
Remus but lets keep the show going with a game called Newsflash! Where snape will be a reporter in front of a green screen and Lily James and Sirius are going to give him clues on where he is  
  
On the screen a person in a barbershop is getting his hair washed (A/N remember snape has really greasy hair)  
  
James: So do they use the extra strength soap there?  
  
Snape: yes they do it works great  
  
On the screen a guy is getting his hair cut right down the middle  
  
Sirius: so do they cut in straight lines there?  
  
Snape: I really don't know  
  
On the screen a guy is putting all the cut off hair into a jar labeled Jar O Hair  
  
James: does the hair get dumped outside?  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer  
  
Remus: so snape do you have a clue where you where? Snape: I don't know  
  
Remus: you were reporting at a barbershop and the first scene was a guy getting his hair washed  
  
James Lily and Sirius start laughing  
  
Remus: Lets Move on with a game called Hats! Where James Lily Snape and Sirius are given two boxes of hats and they have to out on hats and act them out as if they were on a dating show  
  
James puts on a cowboy hat  
  
James: Yee Haw I can show you how to ride the bucking bronco for fifteen dollars!  
  
Lily has a weird look on her face and gets out her purse and starts counting out fifteen dollars  
  
Sirius puts on an Elvis wig  
  
Thank you very much ladies and gentleman for the night and if you come to my room at 8:00 the wild thing will be aroused  
  
Lily puts on a big sombrero (A/N I think that's how you spell it)  
  
Lily: (in a Mexican voice) some guys are intimidated by my big sombrero but if they don't like how about this? And she takes off the big sombrero and theres a little one there.  
  
Snape puts on a golf hat  
  
Snape: Well you see here you have to have nice and steady strokes and you cant get mad because that only puts you down  
  
Remus buzzes the buzzer  
  
Remus: snape lay off the innuendo  
  
Please R&R thank you to everyone who reviewed and The Irish Drinking Song Will be my finale (not next chapter though) and I need ideas on what props to have for the game props so please give me some suggestions. 


	8. Whose Line and Props

Im So sorry about not updating for a very long time I couldn't think of anything and my computer deleted Word off of my computer. But I'll make up for it with a long chapter.

Chapter 8

Whose Line? Props and Superheroes

Remus: Well then lets get on with it with a game called Whose Line yes we actually have a game called whose line where our performers are given lines to say at opportune moments. (A/N lol pirates of the carribean)

James: Well im gonna go empty out the grease bucket snape has actually been washing his hair lately

Lily: well you know what they say when you have a big bucket of grease?

James: no what do they say?

Lily pulls a line out of her pocket and says

Lily: Its your baby and don't you deny it!

James: ok then but I wont pay child support.

Lily: ok then he can starve.

James well you know what im gonna say to you?

Lily What?

James: Ive walked fifty miles with a condom in my pocket and I don't got no one to use it on

Sirius says from his chair "wait until tonight!"

Lily: So I went to this rock concert the other day and this lady pulled her shirt off and I was like

Lily: My water broke!

James: well you know what I say to that?

James: pay up woman!

Remus buzzes the buzzer

Remus: James its my baby but lets play a game called Props where our performers our given a weird prop and have to think of as many things as they can to do with it.

James and Snape are given two springs and Lily and Sirius are given a beaver tail (A/N thank you ssxgurl21)

James says in a fashion model announcer's voice "and the new spring look this year" as snape walks like a model with springs on his arms

Lily is sitting on the beaver's tail and Sirius says

Sirius: hey we already cut off his tail you don't need to rub it in his face

Sirius and James sit in chairs with the springs on their heads

James: (in an old person voice) so gertie did you see that Janet Jackson girl at the super bowl? That yahoo Justin Timberlake is a dirty man. Wait a second I can get 25 off vegetables next week.

Sirius and lily are hiding behind the beaver tail next to the chairs

Sirius: do you think the enemy will find us here?

James is bouncing on the spring

James: do you think there really is a record for the most bounces on a spring?

Snape: im sure there is if they have a record for the longest hot dog there bound to have bounces on a spring in here

Remus buzzes the buzzer

Remus: what are we in fourth grade? lets play a game called superheroes.

Superheroes will be in the next chapter Please Review!


	9. Superheroes and Twoline Vocabulary

I know all of you are waiting in line to strangle me for not updating in a long time but ive been really busy with exams and grades and girls and stuff like that and for all you guys out there here's a new chapter

Disclaimer: you all know I don't own Harry potter or else I would know what happens in the sixth book!

Remus: The game is called superheroes. Were gonna pick a name for James and then he's gonna have a crisis and Sirius (A/N HE HAD BETTER NOT BE DEAD!) Lily and Snape are gonna come in to help him and they're gonna name the next superhero as they come in. James will be called Captain Obvious (A/N how original?) and his crisis is no more shampoo

(Everybody stares at snape)

Snape: I'll have you know I took a shower last month!

James: Dang there's no more shampoo I have to save the world or else guys like Fabio and Sirius Black cant make fools of themselves

(Sirius flicks off James)

Sirius runs in

Sirius: I got here as soon as I could

James: Thank god you're here Bad temper boy!

Sirius: YEAH! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!

James: you talk loud

Sirius: DON'T GET ME STARTED!

Lily runs in

Sirius: THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, PMS WOMAN! (A/N if this offends any women that read this I am terribly sorry, if it does send me a review about it)

Lily: SHUT UP! I HATE THE WORLD!

James whispers to Sirius: PMS don't worry about it.

Lily's standing behind them: YEAH! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A PERIOD?

Snape runs in

Lily: THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, NERD BOY! DID YOU GET THE PADS?

Snape: um well um see I couldn't find any so I got Trojan man warm sensation condoms. (A/N ROCK ON TROJAN MAN!)

James: he got condoms

Sirius laughs and says: like he would ever use 'em. YEAH SEE I GOT CONDOMS OF MY OWN! He takes out 30 Trojan mans out of his pocket

Lily: dang

James: that's 30 condoms

Sirius; you're just jealous of me cuz of that night with me and Breanna Goodall that night in seventh year

James:

Snape: well there's a thing called mail order brides you know

Snape walks out

James mutters to Sirius: the only time he could ever get any

Lily: YEAH WELL IM GONNA GO BEAT UP A GUY SINCE IM SO PISSED OFF!

Sirius: im getting out of here you guys make me mad!

Sirius drops a condom on his way out. James sneaks over and picks it up, opens it, blows it up and sticks it over Sirius' head

James: OH WHAT NOW TROJAN MAN?

Remus buzzes the buzzer

Remus: Well now we've had fun with condoms, lets play a game called two line vocabulary where James is a safari guide with his two companions Sirius and Snape and the catch is that Sirius and Snape can only say two sentences each.

Remus: Snape can only say, "I want a beer" and "Im horny"

Remus: Sirius can only say "oops I did it again" and "What's that"

Sirius Remus and James start walking

Snape: Im horny

James in a Steve Irwin voice: No not now we are hunting the famous Remus Lupinius a very nasty beast they say he walked around naked and scarred a whole group of eleven year old girls for life.

Sirius: What's that?

James: A nasty beast

Snape: I want a beer

Sirius: What's that?

James: a beer is an alcoholic drink

Sirius: What's that?

James: Shut up!

Sirius: oops I did it again

James: Shut up both of you

James sneaks up behind remus and says in his Steve Irwin voice: The beast is right here the remus lupinius careful he might bite.

Sirius: What's that?

Remus turns around

James: RUN!

Snape: I want a beer!

Remus buzzes the buzzer

Remus wow

A/N Please Review and can anybody give me suggestions on the next game? Please?


End file.
